这是我儿子今天写的文章,请各位提些意见,帮助他进一步提高写作水平,谢谢!
The festivals in China
There are many traditional festivals in China, here are 3 of the most important ones.They are Sping festivals,Tomb sweeping festival and Mid-autumn festeval.
First ,I'll talk about Sping festival. It's on Jan 1st in Lunar Calander. On that day, we clean our appartment, visit freinds, play with cousins, see fire works and
watch the Spring festival gala during that time.
Second, I'll speak about Tomb sweeping festival. It's on April 5th. On that day, we go to visit our relatives which are dead. We pray for them, bless them and miss them.
And at last, I'll say about Mid Autumn festival, It's on every Aug 15th from lunar calander. We can see a bright,full, round and big moon hung on the dark blue sky.
It's beautiful. We also eat all kinds of moon cakes. They are delicious.
I think these chinese festeval are unique and intersting. I like them. How about you?. 作者: tommysj 时间: 2010-4-13 11:42 标题: 恳请各位前辈予以指点
不晓得孩子多大, 不过就此文来说, 语法没啥错误, 但仍见被中文写作方式所影响, 比如第一段:They are Sping festivals,Tomb sweeping festival and Mid-autumn festeval可以删除, 因为下文都一一提及了,否则,用FIRST, SECOND, AT LAST的方式就过于拘泥了。before the Lunar New Year, we clean our apartments, then, have dinner with families, visit freinds, play with cousins, see fireworks and watch the Spring festival gala during the holiday.
第二段,清明节通常用Ching Ming Festival, we go to visit our relatives which are dead可以写成we go to the graveyard and clean the tombstone of our relatives who passed away long ago, 关于人的复合句得用who; 而对先人的尊敬,所以不用dead这个字。
第三段, 因为前两段已经用了i'll talk/speak about, 这里就不必再用同一句式,直接写it's the Mid Autumn Festival, 正式节日,festival记得要用大写开头。It's on every Aug 15th from lunar calander可以写作it's Aug 15th on Lunar calander; 因为fulll moon=round, 所以可以去掉round, 写作We can see a bright and big full moon hung on the dark blue sky. 后面We also eat all kinds of moon cakes可以再丰富些, and fruits, nuts etc...