摘录一段David2000年底写的话:"My name is David X. I know how to do cursive, good handwriting, math, story writing, geometry, science, geography, reading. I didn’t know how to ride a two-wheeler bike until this Summer, when I learned how to ride my bike I really liked it! Last year I learned how to do multiplication, it made adding a lot easier! Now I have to do about 10 things every day, that includes my birthday, Christmas and Halloween. Unless it’s a special occasion, on Monday and Friday I go bowling for about 55 minutes, it’s a lot of fun! "
初中第一天,就被数学老师"time out"。以后的初一和初二两学年,David从"time out"到"detention",到"in school suspension",应有尽有。我两次"荣幸"地被校长谈话(一次初一,一次初二),被告之:David违反校规,他的行为是学校不能容忍的。面对所有发生的这一切,我既没有责骂,也没有惩罚David,只是温和地告诉他:"将来注意改正,只要有进步就好。"
初中三年级,David十四岁。几个月之内,David大变。再没有校长电话,再没有David关于"老师更喜欢姑娘"的抱怨。相反地,David过去近十年积累起来的虽不深入,但内容广泛的知识和养成的高效率的工作学习习惯,以及获得的良好的心理素质,开始有效率地推动他往前走,往上升。David开始全方位大进步,开始获得老师们和同学们的尊重。临近初中毕业,David被同学选为"Student of the Month"。
在学校,顾问看见我就没好脸色,我还没开口说话,就开始教育我,如: David已经很好了,你不应该再push他了;好学校不光看成绩,还看其他。摘录一段David高中一年级英语老师、班主任给我的email:"Honestly, I find David to be one of the best students I’ve encountered in many years. He’s exceptionally bright, hard-working, and insightful. Whatever you’ve done to make him this great student, just keep doing it! My one hope is that he finds time to be a kid, as students who concentrate so strongly on academics sometimes miss out on the fun things in life. Other than that, there’s little I can offer for advice, just keep doing what you do."。这固然怪我预约时没讲清楚我要谈的话题,但也表现出他们对中国人的成见。我也不敢苟同这种观点,即把小孩子的学有所成同生活中是否能有童趣对立起来。写到这儿,令我想起了同David的一次闲谈。那是几年前,David还是个高中生,我说:"想到牛反刍,就让我恶心。"David答:"你不是牛,你怎么能知道牛们反刍时感受到的快乐?!"
这段时期,是我内心最轻松的岁月。David各方面的进步和成就,令人可喜、欣慰。下面是2007年10月22日高中校长为David写的推荐信中的几段话:"I am very pleased to be able to write this letter of reference for David X who is currently a sophomore here at XXX High School. David is highly respected and known for his work ethic and commitment to success. He has exhibited outstanding performance in the classroom and is well rounded in school and community activities.
David has been involved in a variety of activities including cross country, track and field, and math club. He recently placed 2nd nationally in the 2007 Fall Startup Event, a national mathematics contest. In addition, David has worked as a tutor at XXX University and is involved with local scout program. In short, he is a very busy young man who also works to earn extra money whenever he has a spare moment. Few students have the energy and drive that David has. He is a great representative of XXX High School and someone who is respected by both staff and students alike.
David X has set high expectations for himself and clear goals for his future. He is an honest, ambitious, and outgoing young man who seems to find success in everything he does."
因为开学后,除了学校功课,David还有cross country 、数学队、科学碗队、和童子军的各种活动;以及辅导大学生的工作;再加上还得在美国农业部的一个实验室里干活(仅cross country 一项活动,一个星期花费至少30个小时。)。所以2009年暑假期间,我提醒David应该着手开始准备申请大学的材料了。他回答:"没必要,我朋友没有一个开始的"。
开学后,David申请耶鲁的 QuestBridge National College Match 奖学金,截止期是11月2号。到了10月中旬,David的申请材料还差很多,我不得不要求他退出cross country 队。可以想象David的愤怒。他甚至提出:为了能参加州级的cross country 比赛,放弃申请耶鲁的奖学金,转而申请我们州的州立大学的。我理解他想参加这个比赛的强烈愿望,因为这是他多年努力才终于获得的唯一的一次机会。但他必须理解,一个人得为自己的行为负责,承担后果。夏天时,我提醒过他应该着手准备申请材料这件事。庆幸他最后妥协了。但家里的气氛够紧张的,任何小事情都可能引起David的情绪爆发。David的内心斗争激烈到了令他感觉自己身体快要爆炸的程度,这导致他不止一次地半夜从家里跑出去。外面是黑夜,近零度的气温。我站在客厅,眼望他摔门跑走,呆若木鸡。我无法用言语描述我当时的恐惧和痛心,但有一个念头在我的心里是清楚的,那就是"在这种关键时候,我没有后退的空间。任何后退都是对David的不负责任,我会抱憾终生的。"我能依靠的、让David回转的唯一筹码,是多年来我灌输给他的理念和养成的好的习惯,希望能让他头脑清醒,平静下来。还好,每次都是过一、两个小时后,他就又回来了。
我认为,哈佛和耶鲁是最适合David的学校。所以David于2009年12月11日又递交了申请哈佛的材料。2010年2月23日,哈佛给David寄出了一封有招生委员会主任亲笔签名的"likely letter",信中说:"I am delighted to report that the admissions Committee has asked me to inform you that we will offer you a formal letter of admission to the Class of 2014 on April 1. We send such an early positive indication only to outstanding applicants. The opinion of the Admissions Committee is not merely that your accomplishments—academic, extracurricular and personal—are impressive, but also that you would be a particularly good match for the opportunities and challenges here. In short, we think you would flourish at Harvard, and we are eager to encourage you to make it your college choice."。那一年,哈佛一共发出了300封"likely letter",其中200封是给运动员的,仅100封是给象David这样的学生的。考虑到那一年,哈佛一共录取了2100多名新生,这封信真让David和我不知道该怎么高兴了,多年的努力终于获得了哈佛和耶鲁的认可。